Last May I thought that this blog would be moving in a new direction. Since then I have made exactly zero blog entries. Clearly the idea that the focus of this blog would be “an interest in heresies” was premature. The reality is that I stopped writing here because I had priorities of a political nature and because I had developed a strong doubt as to whether I have had anything worth saying on the subject of religion or spirituality.
On the issue of priorities all that needs be said is that I am a National Committee member of one of oldest and smallest of America’s Socialist parties, the Social Democrats USA. I am deeply committed to this organization and have been doing a substantial amount of work within it. Thus a considerable amount of my writing has been in its service during the last few years.
The second issue has been one of self doubt. Part of this concern has been based on the minimal response that most of my writings within this blog have received from viewers. However another more important cause has a sense of my own inadequacy and of doubt regarding whether what I have to say has any significance. Most people who write on religious topics have a certain sense of spiritual achievement, success, and divine revelation that I have never had. Further more I feel that in many ways in Christian terms I am still too attached to many of the addictions, vices, or what Christians would call the sins. I am hardly a person who lives in an ongoing awareness of the Divine.
Well, I am still not out of that wilderness, however I think that despite my problems perhaps even because of them, I still have ideas and insights worth attempting to communicate. A major reason for my change of attitude has been my increasing study of the classics of the Confucian tradition. This tradition with its spiritual morality which is both deeply personal yet strongly focused on society seems to be just what I need to help me deal with many of the issues of my life. It have given me some real grounding, inspiration, and a better sense of my self and of my possibilities.
The other change has been my deepening sense of the rightness of my Isian beliefs. My sense of Isis, her significance, and her way of justice (maat) contrasts sharply with most other Isians that I know. This has always deeply bothered me and I have hesitated to go against the flow. I plan in the future to be more assertive in communicating what I think is of value. People can then respond positively or negatively as they wish.